Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Today

I sent Brenda an email yesterday... kinda just telling her our heart and addressing the adoption issue. I told her we only want to adopt her if it's what she wants.

She responded today. It simply said, "Hard decision. I love you. I miss you."

And it is... a hard decision. It's almost unfair a 10 year old is being asked to make that decision. In a ten year old's world, their view of life is so limited. What Brenda sees now is her life with her friends. She really can not grasp a realistic view of her future.

So I am sad for her. When I was just a few years older than her, I had to make a decision between my parents. And I did not have the tools to make that decision. I made my decision based on my 13 year old view of life and guilt for my brothers and dad. My life was greatly affected by that decision. As an adult, I have always been saddened that I was in a position to make that decision.

But I have a redeemer and a Father in heaven who had his hand on me then and has his hand on me now. He has taken my pain and turned it into passion and strength... for his glory.
I have wonderful peace from the Lord right now. Brenda is in His hands... I know it. And everything will be just fine... better than fine. He will be glorified.

Praying for her...
Dawn
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2 comments:

  1. HeatherFebruary 10, 2010 at 8:25 PM

    Oh Dawn, it is a difficult decision. She's been through so much and she's 10!!!! >>ugh<<

    Our 13-year-old, Bree, rejected us after living with us for a year. At 12, foster kids in Colorado get to decide whether they get adopted or not. Way too much responsibility for a kid! She asked to be moved to another family or even to the juvenile facility where her bio sister had done time. When asked why, she said that she liked us too much. Basically, "I'm going to reject you before you reject me."

    We fought for her to stay even if only as a foster child, and she did. Three weeks later, she asked if we would adopt her.

    I will be praying specifically for Brenda to allow herself to accept that she is worthy of good things and that HIS PERFECT LOVE would drive out the fear within her.

    Thanks for sharing this journey.

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  2. DawnFebruary 11, 2010 at 4:53 AM

    Heather, Thank you, thank you so much. Feeling your love today is such a gift. Thank you. And I am so glad Bree is with you all. Smiles and hugs to you...
    Dawn

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