Wednesday

Late last night, we got an email from our adoption coordinator.  It said that someone who needs to be involved in Brenda coming here next month is not willing to do so at this time.  They say they don't have the time or man power right now.  This goes in direct opposition to what they do.  So we are waiting to see what happens next.  The adoption agency is looking into if they can take over what the other needs to do, Don has asked them to reconsider, and we are just in prayer for God to show us his will.  It is hard to know if this is part of the spiritual battle for her life and soul or if this is God trying to close the door.  So we continue to pray for his guidance and wisdom and wait.

Sunday... Day 1 of a new week....

First of all... Michelle, my music is "Hillsong"... they totally are wonderful. And I get a lot of my header pictures from etsy!

As for Latvia news... now we are back to plan A, Brenda will come over with another family who is returning from Latvia and it will either be March 12th or 19th. She should be here for a month. We'll see what this week brings.

Thursday

We heard back from the lawyer in Latvia today that Don can go and get Brenda and escort her back here for a month! She wanted to know what dates we wanted and we said, "When can we come?" So now we are waiting to hear back again. Prayers are so appreciated... I know you are praying... thank you!

Hugs...
Dawn~

Sunday

This was taken by a friend of ours in the airport the day Brenda left! She was hovering with her camera and we were all fighting back tears and so we made this silly face and she got it! I love it now.

Don and I have been talking a lot about this whole process with Brenda. It so saddens us that she is having a hard time with making the decision to leave Latvia. We found out from the chaperone who visited with us while they all were here that Brenda is in touch with some step brothers as well. We knew she had a half sister she sees but didn't know about brothers too.

Even though we want her to come and be with our family so badly... we have a great peace that if she choses not to come... that she will be ok and that God is in control and God can take care of her. She was in the presence of His love... that may be all it was about and that may stay with her forever.

We have offered for Don to fly over and chaperone her back and forth so we don't have to match up with another families time line. So we'll see what they say about that. Our desire is for her to be here much sooner than a month from now so we/she can get things figured out.

Prayer for her heart and her peace are still so much wanted. We are ok. We know that there are millions of children out there who need parents. We will continue to host and pray that God will bring these children parents regardless of what happens here. We can only do what He guides us to do (one child at a time) and are so very very thankful for his presence and peace!

Love to you all... Happy Valentine's Day!

Dawn~

Friday

It seems Brenda will come in March (around the 20th) and stay for another month. The orphan court is waiting to hear from her school and that will be next week. So that is good news! Thank you for your prayers and love... stay tuned!

Nothing.

Today

I sent Brenda an email yesterday... kinda just telling her our heart and addressing the adoption issue. I told her we only want to adopt her if it's what she wants.

She responded today. It simply said, "Hard decision. I love you. I miss you."

And it is... a hard decision. It's almost unfair a 10 year old is being asked to make that decision. In a ten year old's world, their view of life is so limited. What Brenda sees now is her life with her friends. She really can not grasp a realistic view of her future.

So I am sad for her. When I was just a few years older than her, I had to make a decision between my parents. And I did not have the tools to make that decision. I made my decision based on my 13 year old view of life and guilt for my brothers and dad. My life was greatly affected by that decision. As an adult, I have always been saddened that I was in a position to make that decision.

But I have a redeemer and a Father in heaven who had his hand on me then and has his hand on me now. He has taken my pain and turned it into passion and strength... for his glory.
I have wonderful peace from the Lord right now. Brenda is in His hands... I know it. And everything will be just fine... better than fine. He will be glorified.

Praying for her...
Dawn

HUGE NEWS/HUGE GOD

God is so amazing and so generous and so ACTIVE AND ALIVE! I LOVE IT when He shows Himself with such power... such... "Here I AM!"

I sent out a very long and detailed email to our friends and prayer warriors. This will be a bit shorter version.

After last week's disappointing news... I "gave it to God". I prayed boldly that God would change hearts in Latvia and that Brenda would be able to see the psychologist sooner and that we'd know something sooner than March. I believed God could do that... and anything... and begged Him to give me the strength to trust him with it and not rely on my own efforts!

I also struggled because last week's news came 5 MINUTES after I broke my fast. I have been fasting every Thursday since Brenda left on her Thursday. Last Thursday I was just emotionally whipped and drained and so I stood in my kitchen and said to my Lord, "I can't do this today. My heart is not in this. My mind is not in this. I don't know if this is sinful or not, but I can't fast today. I am so sorry." And then I put several grapes in my mouth. The phone rang 5 minutes later with bad news! That was partly why I was so speechless... I was like... great... this is my punishment!

Well, as I thought about that later, and prayed, I realized that God's ability to move on behalf of Brenda has nothing to do with a "work" I am doing... how selfish to think that "I" can fast and therefore Brenda might come sooner... that makes it about me when it is ALL about HIM! And I feel he validated that for me today. So I will continue to fast... not as a work... but as a gift... as a sacrifice... and as a way to draw closer to Him. And He will remain in control!

So anyway, ( I did say this would be shorter!) we found out today that Brenda has met with the psychologist and that the court has decided to let her come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT, they did say that Brenda seemed "fickle" in her decision to come. So they want to know if she can come back and stay with us again (SOON) to feel better about her decision!!!!!!! YES... we said YES!!!!!

I think that part of Brenda's "fickle" appearance may be from our not being able to really convey our feelings for her while she was here! We were not allowed to tell her we wanted to adopt her and days before leaving... she started questioning our love for her and wondering why she had to go back. Now that we can be open with her... I think she will feel more secure. She also has a half sister there whom she sees and many friends... and it's her home... she's 10. If she were 3 or 4 it would be totally different.

So prayer requests are as follows:
1.) God's guidance in her decision and peace
2.) That she can come back soon and totally know how much we love her
3.) That she will get here safely
4.) That she will look for and see God in all of this
5.) That I can sleep!
6.) God's provision of airfare

THANK YOU and I promise to update you soon!
Love and Hugs...
Dawn

Opposites Attract

Well, for everything good there is an opposite... right. Today, right before going to get Abby from school, I got a call from the adoption coordinator. She wanted to let me know she'd just gotten a message from the lawyer in Latvia. It said that sometime after Feb. 18th, Brenda would start meeting with a psychologist to see whether or not she really understood adoption. She then said we'd find out if she could come in March.

Well, if you read on my other blog, this is in fact old news... old bad news. It HAD been replaced with "knowledge" of Brenda having an appointment with the psychologist on Feb. 15th. So I asked her what happened to the Feb. 15th appointment. She informed me all she knew was what she was reading.

I really was speechless. And you know, that may be a first for me. I really just stood there in my kitchen speechless and numb as an awkward amount of seconds past. She didn't say anything. I didn't say anything. A thousand things were swirling through my head. Finally, I mustered up, "Are you still there?" She answered yes. She then asked if we were going to move forward with the adoption and I told her what I had told her the first time she gave us this bad news which was we were going to wait to move forward with the things that required large amounts of money until we had a clear,"yes".

She told me that she has never seen a situation where the child wants to come and they don't let them. But this whole psychologist thing is supposed to be new too. So anyway, I am numb today. Tired. Very emotionally tired. I am holding onto what God did with the fingerprints and praying He will make Himself known in this and show off his power again. But I need prayers. As does Brenda. She sent me a message this morning. It said, "I am slima", "I am sick".

Just Showing Off

My God is so precious and He has shown off His power... and I LOVE IT!
I turned in the funds and request for electronic filing of our fingerprints yesterday around 2 p.m.
The "boys" were all out at a crime scene and so there was no one to give it to... so I left it with the clerk. As I walked out of the building... I felt peace. Even though I had not been able to give it to the person myself (I LIKE KNOWING the right person has gotten what they need when I CAN help!).

It was going to take 2 to 3 days... in a good scenario. We got the call at 10:30 a.m. this morning... less than 24 hours later, that they are back! There are poor families having to wait up to 12 weeks and my God provided in less than 24 hours! HE ROCKS! Oh how we needed that!

I LOVE that God used this opportunity to remind me in such a sweet way that He is in control and that HE can do anything and that He is here with us and that I CAN TRUST HIM! I will hold tight to this gift!

THANK YOU for your prayers!!!!!!!!!! Love and Hugs...

A Bit Better

With the arrival of February has come a new week. I am happy to say that tension may be down at Brenda's foster home. Her foster sister's tweets have returned to "her normal" and so have Brenda's messages to us. They are cheerful again, reflect her heart and personality and increased in number. For a while I was worried they were limiting her communication or even attempting to stop it and so it is nice to have some peace there!

We chatted this weekend on Frype and I reminded her to pray and she messaged me back she is praying every day. Yeah. Many smiles.

I also received a message that provide "some" hope from the lawyer in Latvia saying that it is good that Brenda wants to come and she "thinks everything will be ok". Not THAT solid a statement to hold onto but it is something none the less!

We are moving forward with various parts of the paperwork as we wait for Fed. 15th to arrive and see if the green light soon follows. Our biggest prayer request right now involves the FBI fingerprinting. When we did Marc's, our county did them electronically and they were back in THREE days! Now, there is some sort of issue with the process (not our fingerprints) and they may not do them electronically and it may take as long as 12 WEEKS now! UGHHHHHHHH. SO we are calling the woman who helped us last time and praying all over that one!

Thank you for your sweet sweet love and your sweet emails of encouragement that I am still getting. I appreciate you all so very much.

Prayer Requests-

1. FBI Fingerprints to be done electronically

2. Brenda's meeting with psychologist to be conclusive and the green light to follow

3. Peace and hope for Brenda as she waits and doesn't understand all this

4. Peace and comfort for her foster family

5. Peace and guidance for our family as we walk forward in faith

POST EDIT: 2:33 p.m.

We got the call from the one we needed to get our prints done in days versus weeks! I just returned from writing the check and we should be cleared by Thursday at the latest! After I told her she was an anwer to specific prayer on my blog... she said, "Go tell them God answers prayers!" Oh how I needed that from my Father today! HE rocks and is ever so present. I beam from seeing his face today!